Now usually I'm the kind of guy who only has a half hearted kind of a belief that 'all things happen for a reason', you can look at the world in it's current form for an inkling of why. To believe that 'all things happen for a reason', is to believe that there's an external being out there who's framed out a good plan for us, although already I've seen a flaw in my logic:
'Us'.
Perpetually all peoples of this earth make this naive assumption, that there is a reason that we're here, that someone up there has a purpose for 'us', but could we really be any more arrogant? I'm not denying that there is a creator, just observing that it's a bit rich at best for us to assume that this creator has our best interests, well, our interests at heart.
He created this earth, and we're systematically destroying it. I could write about why, but I remember seeing a lovely animation the other day which more than sums it up for me, designed by the lovely folk at Three-Legged Legs titled 'Humans!':
http://www.threeleggedlegs.com/repertoire/humans/
There are more of these non-eventive thoughts bubbling around my head, but this isn't the reason I'm writing this post today, today I feel my life has changed, and it is fitting that it has been on the very edge of an era.
Today marks the day of my Father's 50th Birthday Party. I say party because he turned 51 last month, the thing is we didn't have a chance to celebrate it back then so now we're doing it in style. I'm even rockin' a suit. Cheah.
It's been a fantastic event, the food has been amazing. My Mother worked tirelessly cooking salmon, crayfish, pasta, rice, salads with feta cheese, to be topped off with her famous (in the community) carrot cake and ALSO an amazing lemon meringue flavored yoghurt of sorts, entrenched with blueberries, strawberries, and served with an equally delightful chocolate log made by our neighbor.
I made a speech, albeit impromptu, which my father loved, which to me is fantastic. It feels so good to make him proud for once. My Mother wrote the most amazing material for him, and further for the rest of those participating.
I don't know how public I want to make this blog, but at the same time I want to retain the memories.
Oh well.
Now I know a lot of these details are minuscule, but I have to clear this up now. This is a selfish blog. Like the famous 'iwrotethisforyou' it has the intention of being read, but in this case the reader is intended to be myself. I hope any readers who do read this do so and enjoy, I welcome you, but at the same time, I have no intention of surpassing any type of standard bar my own.
Now the point that proved the end of this era.
Today I have removed my sister from my life, my mind, my thoughts. My brother was murdered 6 years ago and his killers received 17 years non-parole. Now I'm all for parole, the incentives it provides allows offenders a true motivational goal to better themselves to fit in society, but for some I believe there's no space for improvement.
My sister wants to speak to the killers, just one of them, citing her personal feelings as the motivation. However I'm 100% against it, in our country restorative justice is just another box that provides that an offender has made an attempt to take responsibility for the crime. The criteria for release takes into account the risk of recidivism, in which the effort to accept responsibility is an important factor, and rightly so because when it works properly, restorative justice can remove cognitive blockages from the offender.
However. The man who killed my Brother, he's an animal. In his testimony, he laughed and talked about how disgusting he thought he was, (ironic?) as an excuse of sorts, a justification to himself as to why it was okay to stab him in the back, beat him across three separate occasions with two by fours, his skull caved in. He found that funny, and we're expected to believe he wants to say sorry? But my Sister, I limit this to biological relation only, is hardly better. Her motives are purely selfish - she wants to yell, swear, vent rage at the killers. In itself it serves only to create more drama, and to perpetuate the loss for her. It won't help, it'll tear the hole deeper. I don't say this based purely on opinion, throughout the whole six years she has relived the memories, and whenever she does she spins out for weeks. She's sick, mentally, and I wish I could stop what she's doing to herself and to those around her. (When I say sick, it's more that I can't understand how she could think as she does.
On a social networking site yesterday she placed a status regarding her considerations in meeting the killers, I replied gave mostly the above reasons for her not to go. I was met by the best friend with a ridiculously aggressive vibe, all caps, all swearing, it was sick. As if I wasn't the brother.
Anyway, I know how it goes, but for the sake of consistency, here are the posts that weren't deleted.
Sister: Is wondering what it will be like to come face to face with the man who murdered Her Brother.....How can he ever say sorry? Getting nervous not sure I want to do this .....suggestions anyone?
1: :'( good morning cuz, I not really sure wat to say here, I dont think their is anyway of ever saying sorry for murder. I dont know how i would handle a situation like that, it would definitely take alot of strength... Ther is alot of power in facing it and finding sum way to let go, I couldnt do it....Love and peace in memory of Shannon ♥ xx
2: I have no suggestions sorry. I think you are very brave and I will be thinking of you today. I hope you get the outcome you are hoping for.
Me: In looking at parole the board observes restorative justice - if the offender has made efforts to meet with the victim's family (at the wishes of the family), then the parole board will take that as evidence that the offender has tried to 'make amends', and would make his likelihood of release higher than it would be otherwise.
I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned whatever either of them have to say, whatever they could say, whether they lie or tell the truth, would never ease the loss caused by their actions. The only thing that would come out of this would be a shorter sentence for the people who killed him. What could he possibly say that would make you feel better?
Let them say sorry through their sentence, would you be prepared to meet them after their release?
4: Hi cuz I couldn do it he prob only gunna say sorry so he can out of jail earlier id let him rot in their as long as possible coz sorry wont bring Shannon back but it's all up to you cuz if ya think it will help you move on in life do it but i think it's a big gamble on your health. Woteva you decide take care and I'm thinking of you and Shan on this day and always luv Cuz
'Sister': OK its not today Im meeting him,and Im not sure I want to,but as for the parole issue he wont get out early its 17 yrs non parole as I already enquired about that,I guess for me its about being able to have the opportunity to let out the anger ,pain and hurt he caused me and mine.The other guy involved in his murder does not want to say sorry and in some insane way part of me wants to confront the one who regrets l his actions,not that it changes what he did,so I feel compelled to go........ But Im not sure that I will be brave enough to confront him
5: wow this is huge I can't offer any words of wisdom but know that I am thinking of you and I hope you take strength and comfort from that
At this point I had another reply to which her friend snipped out a huge aggressive vent of mail slagging off my parents. My parents aren't perfect, but I had no reason to even be in the position to defend them, when they can't respond to what I have to say they attempt to divert the issue and attack anything else to remove attention.
Anyway, they got deleted, here's what was posted afterwards.
Me: You want to do this to let your anger at the killers out, but it wouldn't be for yours, it would be for yourself. The rest of the family doesn't want it happening. Restorative justice meetings are ridiculously structured: Odds are you won't even have a chance to yell at him, you won't even get that!
As far as I'm concerned if you do this you're saying 17 years is all Shannon's life was worth. I've told you why this is a bad idea for the community and you just delete it, though admittedly what your friend said was sickening. However I do hope some of it sank in.
xx
'Sister': >My name with an extra vowel< you did not grow up with Shannon I did,By the time you were born we had left home,yes u are the baby brother and you did not know Shannon as I did,why dont you leave your Law books at your desk,this is very personal and emotional to me and not about how you think the situation should be.... Please dont make comments that 17 years non parole is all Shannons life was worth to me. If I decide to meet with >Killer's name< in this meeting then it is my decision.As for the rest of the family whom are you referring to??? I lost my family,My Brother is dead,and my Father has the discretion to allow me my own choices.Our mother however ....well perhaps its best not to say anymore.You really have no idea what this is about for me but thanks for the legal comments,We all know how just and sound the legal system is dont we? ....Oh by the way I AM aloud to swear at him if I like teee heeeee!!!!
Me: I'm not the baby brother. At least, I'm not yours. You can't even spell my name when it's right in front of you. Everything about this is bullshit. You're unequivocally the most selfish person I've met in my life. I remember Shannon being around during my childhood, in comparison it's your presence that's blurry. By going through with this, you're disregarding the dead at the expense of those still alive around you.
Both you and Angela keep saying it's about Shannon, but it's not, it never has been, it's about yourself, just like it always has been.
17 years non parole IS all it's worth to you if you're only acting on a personal and emotional level and disregarding what your actions will mean. You talk about 'my law books', but who do you think the Parole Board would follow instead, your personal and blatantly irrational opinion? Yes, it is your decision, but that doesn't make it any less sick. This is about you getting a bit more drama, you've practically said it yourself.
Ironically, it was Shannon who talked about you being disloyal to Mum. But, I suppose if you can't tell the truth about her, at least you've refraining from lying. She doesn't talk to you? What do you expect! You side with everyone else at every turn! This time you're siding with the killers instead of both her and Shannon! Regardless of your intention, this is what it is. Shannon is dead, and all this will do is reduce the resolve of the Parole Board to contain the animals that killed him.
But wait, you can swear? THAT'S your reward for ticking that box of responsibility?!?! What an HONOR for you! I'm SURE your Christian values will recall the story of Judas Iscariot and the prized 30 pieces of Silver. Look at you now! Staying true to scripture after all!
But back to the present, no, we obviously don't ALL know about the legal system. The legal system is only just and sound when it doesn't have people like you interfering with its integrity.
Yes, this is a long post, but it's also been a long time in coming. Do what you want, just know that it's only idiots like Angela who'll side with you. Goodbye.
Both you and Angela keep saying it's about Shannon, but it's not, it never has been, it's about yourself, just like it always has been.
17 years non parole IS all it's worth to you if you're only acting on a personal and emotional level and disregarding what your actions will mean. You talk about 'my law books', but who do you think the Parole Board would follow instead, your personal and blatantly irrational opinion? Yes, it is your decision, but that doesn't make it any less sick. This is about you getting a bit more drama, you've practically said it yourself.
Ironically, it was Shannon who talked about you being disloyal to Mum. But, I suppose if you can't tell the truth about her, at least you've refraining from lying. She doesn't talk to you? What do you expect! You side with everyone else at every turn! This time you're siding with the killers instead of both her and Shannon! Regardless of your intention, this is what it is. Shannon is dead, and all this will do is reduce the resolve of the Parole Board to contain the animals that killed him.
But wait, you can swear? THAT'S your reward for ticking that box of responsibility?!?! What an HONOR for you! I'm SURE your Christian values will recall the story of Judas Iscariot and the prized 30 pieces of Silver. Look at you now! Staying true to scripture after all!
But back to the present, no, we obviously don't ALL know about the legal system. The legal system is only just and sound when it doesn't have people like you interfering with its integrity.
Yes, this is a long post, but it's also been a long time in coming. Do what you want, just know that it's only idiots like Angela who'll side with you. Goodbye.
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So this is the long, badly written post.
What she said sickened me, I've spent my life being treated as less than a sibling by her and I've finally spoken out against it.
I haven't included the whole story, any inconsistencies can be easily filled, my conscience is clean.
My first duty is to my dead brother in this, and what she plans to do disregards the dead at the expense of the living.
By doing this, she reduces the capability of the parole board in keeping a killer behind bars. Our laws provide that no one can be detained any longer than is consistent with the safety of the community, but time and time again it's found that the Parole Board get's it wrong for killers, for the majority it is a good system, but the ones who slip through seriously endanger society, look at William Bell. If restorative justice, which is a recognised test, is given to further the responsibility of the offender, but for the self-serving want to vent of my sister, the integrity of the justice system is being subverted. Why should she reduce their sentence.
It's sick. Her friends talk sense but she doesn't listen, she only hears what she wants to. Typical.
It's time for a new Me.
The purpose of this blog is to outline discrepancies and attempt to recognise the extent to which the system has affected and failed me and all others existing within it. It's also a blog of expulsion, of pain, of joy, of assorted emotions.
At least, that's the plan at this stage.
The purpose of this blog is to outline discrepancies and attempt to recognise the extent to which the system has affected and failed me and all others existing within it. It's also a blog of expulsion, of pain, of joy, of assorted emotions.
At least, that's the plan at this stage.
